Secret Doors
by Shay Briar
Summary: When she's alone in the TARDIS, Amy Pond takes the opportunity to discover what lays behind the four doors the Doctor has forbidden her to enter. She learns more than she ever expected about her Raggedy Man and his previous companions.


It wasn't often that Amelia Pond got to be alone in the TARDIS. Honestly, it had never actually happened before. There was always the Doctor tinkering on the machine, Rory watching her, or even an Ood wandering around. The only reason she was alone now was because Rory had the night shift at the hospital and the Doctor was currently trying to persuade him to skip out for a quick trip back to 1006. It had something to do with a supernova or something similar.

Being alone, Amy wasn't going to waste the little time she had. On her very first visit into the TARDIS, the Doctor had forbidden her to enter four rooms. He never gave her an explanation except to say that she would never find out. Now might be the only chance she ever had to discover what lay behind the doors.

The TARDIS was kind enough to place all the doors in a row. Either she wanted Amy to know the truth, or simply liked Amy enough to help her on her venture. Either way, Amy was quite pleased to find that her task had gotten easier.

The first door she stood in front of was grey, a dull grey. There was nothing special about it. She took a deep breath and opened the door. The sight before her almost brought tears to her eyes. The land resembled Earth, as did the perfect blue sky. It looked like a painting. It was all grass except for a small bed of roses at the other end of the room. All the beauty in the room caused her to take a moment to realise what else the room held –grave stones. There must have been almost a hundred of them, each with fresh flowers in front of them. On further inspection, it seemed that underneath the flowers was a letter. Each grave looked perfectly taken care of. She approached the nearest grave and read the words on it.

Donna Temple-Noble

The Most Important Woman in the Universe

"Though you cannot remember, the Universe cannot forget"

Amy didn't quite understand what that meant. Had she done something wrong? Or, more likely, had she done something extraordinary as all the Doctor's companions had? She had never been one for restraint, so she immediately picked up the letter beneath the flowers and opened it. The first thing she noticed was the water marks, obviously from tears, in a few spots on the paper. This Donna must have been very special.

_Doctor Donna,_

_I'm so very sorry. You did so much for the Universe, and what was your reward? Nothing, nothing was your reward. That's all you have now. Is the nothingness ever too much? Do you ever feel like there's more to life? I visited Wilf not long back. He said that you dreamt of travelling the world. Is that because of me? If it is, I don't know why. Why would you want to do something that relates to me when it was my entire fault? You should hate me. But you can't because I don't exist to you. I want your hatred Donna. I want you to yell at me for every wrong thing I've ever done because if you're yelling at me than you must know who I am, and that is all I can ask for. I didn't want you to forget me, Donna. I wanted us to travel the Universe, saving every world we visited. I wanted you to have a life worth living._

_I didn't want to wipe your memories, Donna. Believe me, I didn't. I went through every possible way for you to live with a Time Lord's mind. There were none, but I couldn't let you die. I had to erase your memories of me. It was the only way. Even though you have no memories of it, you still have a small trace of Time Lord left in you. Where once I was alone in the Universe, I can hear another Time Lord, you. I can hear you call my name, hear the word "_Doctor" _as it travels through the Universe. It kills me to hear it, yet at the same time, it gives me strength. I am not alone._

_I went to your wedding, you know. You looked happy. You know, the first time I ever saw you, you were wearing a wedding dress. I guess it was fitting that you were wearing one when I last saw you. I wanted to come see you again, but I couldn't be that selfish. If you had seen me, there was a chance you would remember. And if you remember, I lose you permanently. At least this way, I can dream up your happy-ever-after. In my dreams, you will forever be happy._

_I haven't decided yet, but I may visit you one last time. I have the opportunity to visit you as you lay dying at home, alone. Don't worry, you'll have lived a long and happy life, just like I always wanted for you. I could always arrive and give you your memories back, let you die knowing that the Universe was safe because of you. Would you want that? I think you'd be mad if I didn't do it, honestly. I want for a moment for me and you to be together, the Doctor and Donna, just as it should be._

_Your Martian,_

_The Doctor_

Amy watched as her tears joined the remnants of the Doctor's on the page. She had known his past hadn't been completely happy, but her heart broke for him more than ever before as she read the paper. Looking around at the graves around, she realized that these were the graves of all his companions. He never forgot them. He had loved and lost, and yet he kept smiling. He was the strongest man she had ever known.

Not wanting to intrude in the grave yard any longer, she quickly placed the flowers and letter back where she got them and exited the room. Just as she was about to leave the room, she took one last look back and smiled. No matter what happened the Doctor wouldn't forget her.

Blinking back her tears, she headed for the next door, painted a plain brown colour. There was nothing remarkable about the door. When she opened it, Amy was quite confused. It looked like movie theatre. There was even a movie playing and everything. She looked around the room for a few minutes, and upon finding nothing remarkable, she turned to the large screen in front of her. What she saw made her gasp.

She was on the screen laughing as she ran after the Doctor in Venice, Rory trailing behind with a small smile on his face. The screen changed and it showed the inside of the TARDIS, but it wasn't the control room Amy knew. It was yellow and seemed to have a coral theme to it. There were nine people in the TARDIS, two of which looked identical besides their suit colour, and one of the men was saying, "Now, then, you lot - Sarah, hold that down, Mickey, you hold that - 'cause you know why this TARDIS is always rattling about the place? - Rose, that, there - it's designed to have six pilots and I have to do it singlehanded - Martha, keep that level - but not anymore - Jack, there you go, steady that - now we can fly this thing-... n-no, Jackie, no, no, not you, don't touch anything, just... stand back - like it's meant to be flown!" Everyone was laughing and she could see the brown-suited man, the Doctor it seemed, looked at the blonde girl to his left and smile wider than she had ever seen him smile.

Realizing that these must be his memories, made into a movie for his viewing, she quietly slipped out of the room. If she had time, she would come back, but she wanted to learn what was behind the final two doors.

The third door she decided to enter was one she had attempted to enter almost a hundred times before. The door was pink and had the words "Bad Wolf" written diagonally across it. She had seen the Doctor stop in front of this door and stare at it for almost an hour before placing his hand on the door and walking away. Out of all the doors, this was the one she wanted to see most of all. She glanced both ways down the hall before slipping into the room.

The inside surprised her. It was a bedroom, a very pink and yellow bedroom, a colour choice combination that she wasn't expecting. Walking further in, she couldn't find anything significant about this room except for the fact that it was a mess. There was a union flag shirt, a yellow shirt, and a few pairs of jeans on the floor and the bed was unmade. In the corner of the room was a red backpack, still half unpacked. To the left, there was a table with a mirror on top of it. The table was scattered with makeup bottles and powders. The brushes were all scattered about as if no one had even thought of cleaning up.

Of course, this was a typical girl's room. The thing that surprised her though was the mirror. It was the only thing that showed who this girl was. There were photos lining the edges of the mirror. She looked closely at them. There was a blonde girl in the majority of them. Some, she was with a bald man with a leather jacket, some with the man from the memory with a suit and converse, and others had her with a man wearing what looked to be a long coat from the second World War. This woman, whoever she was, was important to the Doctor. Why else would he keep her room and not any of his other companion's rooms.

Amy looked around, trying to find a name to fit the face. She searched the room as quickly as she could and could not find anything to help her. Amy stopped and tried to think if perhaps the Doctor had mentioned her before. Unfortunately, if he had, she couldn't remember. The theatre, though. The girl had been in that last scene. Amy tried to remember what the Doctor had called her. It didn't take long for her to remember the name. Rose.

Rushing out of the room, she immediately entered the first room. If there was any way to find out who this girl was, it would be through the letter in the graveyard. She looked around at all the names on the graves. Barbara, Susan, Martha, Sarah Jane, Romana, Ian. She passed by half the graves when she suddenly stopped. If this girl was so important, her grave wouldn't be like just everyone else's. Amy looked around, hoping to find a grave that wasn't like the others.

She saw it. At the front of the room was a field of pink roses. Upon first glance, Amy had thought that was all it was. Now she saw the truth. Hidden in the middle of the field was a single grave. Slowly, she moved toward the flowers. She followed a well-worn path to the grave and knelt in front of it.

Rose Tyler

Defender of the Earth

Forever

Rose Tyler… this was the woman who had captured the Doctor's heart. She must have been remarkable. Amy stared at the gravestone for a few more minutes before looking down. At the base of the grave were a dozen yellow roses. She picked them up, expecting to find a letter, but the sight that greeted her was not what she expected. Underneath the roses was a black ring box. Amy gently picked it up and opened it.

The ring inside was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. The band was plain silver, but the stone was something she never wanted to take her eyes off of. It was a light pink, almost clear gem that twinkled when the light hit it the right way. Inside the gem, she could see movement. She looked closer and saw what looked like a star inside. Knowing the Doctor, it was probably actually a star. He had made a ring out of a star for the girl he loved.

"You really need to stop wandering off, Pond."

Amy froze. With the ring still in her hand, she turned to face the Doctor. He wasn't mad like she was expecting. He was smiling, but it was the also the saddest she had ever seen her Raggedy Man. The look in his eyes was far from happy. It looked like his heart was broken.

"I'm sorry. I– Who was she, Doctor?"

He grabbed the ring from my hands and placed it back in its box before setting it down once again under the roses. He grabbed my hand and started walking toward the room's exit.

"She was Rose Tyler. She's what kept me from killing myself after the death of my people. She's the one who showed mercy to every living thing, even a Dalek. She's the only thing that kept me sane when I was dying. Rose always knew what to do… She was always there when I needed her. But, the one time she needed me, I wasn't there for her. I watched her become trapped in a parallel world. And my heart broke. I burned up a sun just to tell her goodbye. And even then, I failed her. I ran out of time and left her not knowing. I never told her I loved her."

They exited the grave room and continued down the hall. Tears silently fell from his eyes as he continued his story.

"When I finally got her back, I had to make the hardest decision. I had to give her up. And what kills me the most is that I gave her up to myself, well another version of me. It hurts all the more because I can actually see what we could have been like together. I could see how happy I could make her, how I got to kiss her, but it wasn't me. I had to watch as another made her happy, and it broke my heart."

Amy hadn't realised they had stopped walking until she almost ran into the man. He had stopped in front of the last door, a white door. He smiled at his companion before opening the door. He nodded for her to enter.

"Doctor!" a voice shouted the second we entered.

"Hello, Rose. I've brought Amy here to meet you."

The blonde girl gracefully walked over to where Amy stood by the door. She could make out the faintest golden outline around the mysterious woman. She looked like an angel.

She smiled and hugged Amy. "It's fantastic to meet you. I've watched you since you first entered the TARDIS. You've protected my Doctor. You've loved him. Thank you."

Amy didn't reply, just stared at her confused. She turned to face the Doctor and he smiled at her.

"This is the Heart of the TARDIS. Once upon a time, Rose looked into the Heart and the Heart looked into her. After Rose was gone, the TARDIS made this data ghost of her. She can't leave this room, but iIt's Rose with all her memories and feelings. It was the TARDIS's gift to me."

Amy's eyes widened as she whispered, "You wanted forever with her…"

The Doctor gave a sad smile before saying, "I wanted forever with Rose, and I got it." He turned to look at where the data ghost of Rose was dancing to music only she could hear. He smiled as he quietly mentioned, "Doctor and Rose Tyler in the TARDIS, like it should be. Forever."

Amy stayed quiet and just looked at him. His smile as he watched Rose broke her heart. He got Rose Tyler for all of his forever, but she could never leave the TARDIS again, never have the adventures she was supposed to have.

"Doctor!" Rose called out with a laugh. "Dance with me!"

And immediately, the sadness in his eyes was gone and replaced with adoration as he moved toward the woman he loved, completely forgetting about Amy standing at the door. He grabbed Rose's hand and brought her closer to him and she spoke.

"Doesn't the universe implode or something if you dance?"

The Doctor laughed as he looked wistfully at Rose. He whispered to her just loud enough for Amy to hear from her position at the front of the room.

"So?"

They both smiled and he brought her closer to him and they began to sway with music that they both seemed to hear. Quietly, Amy took her leave from the room. She'd seen all she needed to see. Her Raggedy Man would never be alone.


End file.
